“What needs done is… arguable. Logistics and—betrayal.” He’s not worthwhile. He’s not trustworthy. If people miss him, it’s only because they missed the chance to kill him themselves. “Things other people can get done and things that no one was happy about me doing. I’m not—I’m only An Ding peak lord because I had to be, because I had to— make it into the position by any means necessary, because Shang Qinghua is the Peak Lord of An Ding. There were other candidates who were probably better, whose martial siblings might actually like them.”

“I’m not good people, but… you’re worth a lot to me.” He ducks his head, face pressing into Casper’s shoulder. He should let go, back off, stop being a clingy weirdo, but the warm weight of the other man against him is maybe the only thing holding him together right now. “Don’t— think I’m good. I’m not. Virtues aren’t something I’ve ever been able to afford. Good people don’t do the things I’ve done.”